4:30 AM Battle Start: AC hostel twin alarm explodes (₹13k/month, girls' tower face-locked). Corridor chai boss serves ₹40 ginger blast + mathri. 90% UP-Bihar crew detonates WhatsApp: "Today's ENT case list hacked?" 5:45 AM Campus Invasion: 5-min e-auto (₹22) storms Rangpur Medical College. Physiology practical detonates—Indian HOD rips Gan